Where I fail as a parent, and you can all judge me…

I sleep with the baby in our bed. I admit it! And Mike sleeps on the couch during the week, so this is all me. Anyway, I practice safe bedsharing techniques. No pillows, blankets or anything in John’s way. And he can’t roll over yet, so for now I am not worried, but his co-sleeper is position off the bed so if he did fall off it, he’d fall into his bed from a height of an inch or so. When he can roll, however, I’m getting bed rails, because I am getting way more sleep by bedsharing. I am also in the camp of this preventing SIDS, owing to the fact that you can hear every little noise they make. Honestly, you have to wonder if people who have had babies die from bedsharing are following the right guidelines…

Anyway, last night he was lying next to me, and I woke up from a dead sleep, because I guess I heard him stir, and make a little noise (see what I mean?). Because I was still dreaming, I thought he was choking! In the span of .923470327 seconds I fully awoke, looked at him and thought he was dead (because choking = dead when I am half-awake), and started to give him rescue breaths… but he was totally not dead at all, he was DEAD ASLEEP! And I woke him up to a full cry with my hysterics! Like seriously, I was freaking out. And then I made him freak out.

I’m amazed at how awesome my anxiety is, even asleep. This is better than the night after we gave him his first bath, and I dreamed he fell of a dock and a manatee ate him. Yes, a manatee. I don’t know about that either. I live in NJ. There are no manatees here.



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3 responses to “Where I fail as a parent, and you can all judge me…

  1. Eeek a manatee in NJ?? Now that would be amazing… and awful all at the same time.

    I used to bedshare with Brooks when he was smaller, I could feed him lying on my side and we’d both be more relaxed and the transition from awake to feeding to back to sleep wasn’t so vast. I think as long as you are careful there shouldn’t be a problem.

    There is just way too much to worry about when you have a baby… toddler… kid… teenager AHHHH!!

  2. I had the same issues. You just love them so much, and it is such a miracle that we can even make babies! It is a little scary when they’re first born.

    I co slept with all 4 of my kids, and they are super independent and sleep in their own beds now. It was a sweet and lovely way to sleep and be close. Don’t let anyone scare you out of it. Just be safe and you are fine.

  3. I feel better reading this. I thought all other co-sleeping families actually all slept together. Peter used to sleep on the floor in the nursery while I had Alexa in bed with me in the master bedroom. Then we put a mattress on the floor in the nursery. I sleep in there with Alexa and Peter now gets the good bed all to himself.

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